Cute dog ridiculousness

Yep. Xan and I went to the Haute Dog Bulldog Beauty Contest yesterday in Long Beach, and this was just some of the awesomeness. I have a borderline ridiculous love for pugs. I will own one, someday. (I found out about the contest by looking for pug rescue places, which I was thrilled to find out exist! In SoCal! I can get a pug and be socially responsible! Yay!)

Here's one more for your enjoyment, and then I'll stop. The rest are viewable at my Flickr page.



And I'm hiding this down here under the cute pictures of dogs because I'm a little ashamed and I'm not really sure why except for the fact that it makes me a hypocrite but here goes I'm admitting it - I'm doing the master cleanse/lemonade diet. It's day one. I'm doing okay, but I am a little hungry. Also there are strawberries and Sprinkles cupcakes in the kitchen. But I will stay strong. More on this later, I'm sure, when I'm so grumpy from hunger that I'll have to share it with you all.

My first 12 of 12!

So the "12 of 12" is a cool thing started by a guy named Chad Darnell that I heard about through Bonnie Gillespie...thought I'd try my hand. The idea is you take 12 pictures on the 12th of each month and post them...you know, for fun.


1 of 12 - 8:06 am: Commutage clusterfuckage. See the green light? And the truck blocking everything? Yep. That was within the first four blocks of our drive. But all was made good by boyfriend, coffee and the Dr. Horrible soundtrack. (Don't worry, I wasn't driving and taking pictures at the same time.)


2 of 12 - 8:40 am: Cubicle time. I was a little late today...only 8 hours and 50 minutes to go...sigh.


3 of 12 - 10:54 am: Looking at the headshots from my shoot with a friend last weekend...I hate the looking at a million variations of my face part.


4 of 12 - 11:08 am: Snack and Bonk. Love the book, but given the context, the snack is pretty amusing.


5 of 12 - 12:50 pm: Lunch. Veggie chili from Fresh & Easy with Ak-Mok crackers. Crackers not pictured. I'm sorry.


6 of 12 - 1:15 pm: Freedom! Sunshine! Artsy-ness!


7 of 12 - 1:47 pm: Call me immature, but this definitely made me look twice and then laugh. Hard.


8 of 12 - 3:15 pm: Walk to visit Marilyn. She resides in the cemetery behind my office building.


9 of 12 - 4:57 pm: Self portrait and view from the window that I don't sit anywhere near.


10 of 12 - 8:15ish pm: Myself and some other lovely folks in Bonnie's business of the business class - I'm stealing one of her 12 of 12 pics! Has a 12 of 12 crosspost ever been done before!? I'm an innovator! (Or thief!)


11 of 12 - 11:40 pm: I came home to find a wonderful Valentine's Day package from my momma - replete with cookies, a card, and a AAA Bail Bond Certificate. Seriously. My mom has a more exciting idea of my life than is realistic.


12 of 12 - 12:10 am: Bedtime with my two boys. Good night!

This is hard.

Waa waa waa. Acting is haaaard. There's so much to leaaaarn. It's pilot season and I'm not going ouuuut. Waaaaaa.

Whining is done. I just whined to prove that the title of the post isn't whining. Cause I'm not going to whine. I'm going to say something shocking:

It's pilot season in LA, and I'm glad I haven't been sent out.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?" you may say. "Whyyyy?" you may ask.

It's simple: I ain't ready.

I am in a fantastic audition technique class right now, and every week the value of it is re-affirmed because I make HUGE mistakes.

Last night, we worked on auditioning for co-stars, roles where the whole part consists of somewhere between two and ten lines. The first sides were from a sitcom. A situational comedy. A COMEDY. And in my first read, I was not funny. Neither were my classmates. The scene was a nurse talking to a guy who got beat up, and we all read it like we were auditioning for Grey's Anatomy. Our teacher, who is also a casting director, pointed out that no one in an audition situation is going to say "That was good, but can you do it again and be funny?" They're going to say "Thank you, Next!"

Last week, we spent the evening working on one-liners. I must admit that of all the things I have worked on in acting classes, nothing has made me hate myself and want to quit quite like one-liners. They're HARD. You have ONE LINE to nail it. And it's HARD.

Okay, sorry. That was close to whining. But I'm not, I promise.

I'm learning a lot. I'm glad of it. My ability to kick ass is getting stronger every week. But man it's hard to realize all the things you have to learn and all the mistakes you have been making. But that's what class is for. And I won't make those mistakes again.

That's why I'm glad I'm not going out right now for pilot season. Because I would probably do something stupid and shoot myself in the foot, or make some common green-actor new-to-LA mistake that would result in a very quick "Thank you, Next!"

So, Dear Agent, now that I know everything and have learned all the mistakes I was making, feel free to send me out for pilot season. K thanks.

Mondays need rainbows and unicorns

...so here you go. Glorious. Just click the button. Just do it. Then do it again.



That did nothing but make me smile and wonder where my old Lisa Frank sticker collection is.

A Poem of Boredom in Honor of my 70th Post

my eyeballs prick
sticky and toxic as flypaper
from staring at a computer screen

the fluorescent lights of doom illuminate my cubicle
growing nothing but derision
with a sprinkling of jadedness
as the flower of my soul wilts

my creativity is siphoned off by a void that even facebook cannot fill
or perhaps creates

the world at my fingertips
oh wait, that's just the internet
not the same thing

what i would give for a window!
a mere shaft of sunlight!
an incandescent bulb!
(the kind that hurts the environment)

my refuge is the bathroom
with two stalls and one dripping faucet
i look in the mirror to make sure i'm still here
and my office building presence is woefully confirmed

then i return to my computer
window to the world
i compose a melodramatic and terrible poem

and laugh at myself.

Trader Joe's Just Mango Slices Are Truly Amazing.

Seriously. They are. Have you tried them? You must. Ingredients: Unsulfured, unsweetened dried mangos; deliciousness. That's it. They have all the positive aspects of candy and crack with none of the draggy side-effects.

But I really just needed a title.

Things are good. Last night I saw one of the casting directors for "Grey's Anatomy" for the second time, and it went well. He also remembered me, which was exciting. I also saw a woman from "House" last weekend, which did not go as well... This workshop place gives you the sides ahead of time, which is great, because you can memorize and do some character work. But I find that the longer I have the scene, the longer I have to stress about it and feel bad about it if it isn't where I feel like it should be and I get in my head and blah blah blah. It's silly. So I'm working on that.

I heard from both shows that they don't hire non-union at all, just SAG-Eligible and SAG. I knew that was usually the case, but hearing that they are very definitive about it reminded me that I really need to get my third voucher. I have this optimistic unrealistic idealism that SAG eligibility is going to fall into my lap because someone is going to discover how amazing I am and how I am the Only One Who Can Do This One Thing and I won't have to do any more extra work (not that there is anything wrong with that) and it's just going to magically happen.

It may be time to move past that. I'm one voucher away. I should go do some more extra work.

I also had my first commercial audition this week, for a Zyrtec print ad. It was the best sort of first commercial audition, because it really and truly had nothing to do with my ability whatsoever. Based on looks. Can't do anything about 'em. I was totally fine. The role was for "curvy/chubby jogger." Let me tell you how much I loved that. Trying to focus on the "curvy" part. I also thought it was sort of funny that that was the first thing my new agent sent me on.

Oh! Yeah! I got an agent!!! So the meeting went well. He is going to send me out commercially for now. I asked about theatrical and he said he can't really send me out until I'm SAG-Eligible or on IMDB, which I understand, especially after the latest round of CD workshops. Hmm. Maybe I should go do some more extra work. Both SAG-e and IMDB were already goals for this year. So I'm working on that.

I had a callback today for a student film. I was reading for the lead girl and this guy leaned over and whispered to the director. She had me read for the friend, they re-directed, and then she was pretty funny: "Wow. That was - you took that direction really well. I'm going to call you. Would you mind playing the friend? I'm definitely going to call you." I thought it was sort of funny. I'll believe it when she calls, but it was fun.

Final thing in this Ridiculously Long Post Because I Forgot I Have Things To Talk About: I had lunch with a friend from Macalester who happens to be an agent-in-training at a huge (Top 5) agency. It was fun to re-connect and power lunch in Beverly Hills. I'm excited to have another friend in LA and excited to have another industry connection.

It's been a great January.

Industrial shoot! Agent meeting!

It's fun to have things to talk about. :)

The industrial shoot was very fun. Three person crew, all were pleasant and personable. We were joking a lot, which was imperative since my co-star was my diaphram. Also our cat, Luna, jumped in and worked for some of the shots. During the others I relegated him to his trailer (our bathroom). I just did what I was told and changed clothes a lot. Super easy money. The shoot ended with me and Xan kissing, which was a first. (I mean to film it. Not to kiss. We have done that a few times.) Aside from me being awkward when they were leaving and not riding down in the elevator with them, it was a success.

My agent meeting this morning went well...I think. I was in there for all of 13 minutes, but I think we hit it off. The first part was pleasant small talk, then he asked if I had been going out a lot lately. I told him I shot something yesterday and talked about that casting person and knowing Bonnie from the showcase. He asked if I had met with any other agents lately, and I said "No, not lately..." (Which is not a lie!) And then that was it! It ended so abruptly that I was totally taken by surprise and I didn't get a chance to tell him who knew my work, that I am one voucher away from SAG eligible, who I'm meeting in the next few weeks... He said he would look at the rest of my pics on actors access and then give me a call tomorrow to "get me set up." I'm being cautiously optimistic that that means I'm in, I'm just not sure in what capacity. The only thing that made me doubt it being a good meeting was its shortness. Brevity is the soul of...a good agent meeting? Hopefully. I'll let you know.

Regardless, I felt immense joy driving down Sepulveda with the windows rolled down singing Dixie Chicks at the top of my lungs on another beautiful and ridiculously warm day in Los Angeles.

My Diaphram Got Me a Job

Can't wait to see the hits that blog title brings.

I just booked a women's health industrial based on my headshot, having a boyfriend, and my ownership of a diaphram. (I don't use it. Does that push this whole post more or less toward TMI?)

We're shooting in my apartment, which is a little weird, but the woman sent me a website to see their other work and it seems pretty legit. I'll let you know.

Watch the internet and your local OB-GYN office to catch me, Xan, and my diaphram. In a totally non-sexual way, I promise. Or else I'll have a really interesting post for tomorrow...

Tomorrow is my agent meeting! Fingers crossed!

Resolution Amendment

I know amending a resolution sort of defeats the whole purpose, but you'll shortly see why it's necessary.

One of my New Year's Resolutions for 2009 was to never skip an audition. I skipped an audition for a student film back in October, and it was the LAST AUDITION I GOT IN 2008. A sign? Maybe not, but I decided to take it as one and not do that again.

Well, this week I got called in to audition for an "original play" with a dubious title at a theatre I had never heard of. (Why did I submit for this? This is a question I have asked myself at least 7 times already.) I went back and forth, wondering how I could ask to see the script before I went. It also turned out to be sort of a hassle to arrange it so I could have the car to get there, but owing to my resolution, we did it and I drove for 2 hours this morning before work so that I could go to the audition.

And it was a mistake.

My gut was telling me not to go, but I went because of my resolution. Hence the need for an amendment.

I reserve the right not to go to an audition if it seems to be shitty, either from the correspondence with the casting person or upon further review of the breakdown. I also promise to hold myself accountable and not do "meh" submissions when it is against my better judgment. I owe myself both of those things. I try not to be high and mighty or take myself too seriously, but the truth is that there are some things that just aren't worth my time. So I shouldn't go audition for them. Makes sense.

I did see someone I knew there. That's always fun. We read together and then stood outside and sort of had a laugh about it. And it got me out of the office, which has been particularly heinous today. So not a total waste of a lunch break, but close. I also re-discovered that I had the song "You's a Ho" on a mix cd my sister gave me years ago. I love that song. That was the highlight of the whole thing.

Happy 2009!

Well, folks, it's here and it's good: The Future.

Hope the holidays treated everyone fairly. I had a (mostly) great time at home and it was fantastic to see my family. I returned to LA jazzed and ready for 2009.

You know, that's actually not true. I was very sad when I was coming back. I got bumped and then un-bumped, so I sat in Business Class unable to enjoy my consolation prize of free drinks and more leg room and feeling sorry for myself for coming back to an empty apartment and a job that isn't what I want to be doing. I was feeling like the future was stretching out bleakly ahead with nothing interesting or sparkling in sight. And a week later (one little week!) I feel better, because I was wrong.

In the last week, I have seen two amazing and inspiring movies that reminded me of why I am an actor - Doubt and Revolutionary Road. I think Doubt was the best translation of a play to film that I have ever seen. I studied abroad with Frank Wheeler's affair in Revolutionary Road, so it was very fun to watch her. Xan discovered an awesome story about Michael Shannon, the guy who plays John Givings, the lunatic. Firstly, he was phenomenal, and definitely deserves a Best Supporting Actor nomination, in my humble opinion. Apparently he is one of those examples of an actor who paid attention and read the trades and when he saw that Revolutionary Road was being cast, he knew he was perfect for the part from reading the book, contacted his manager, Sam Mendes knew of him from theatre in London, and bam! he got the part. Well, I'm sure there was more to it between Sam Mendes and bam!, but it gives me great hope to hear stories like that. Especially when he was absolutely fantastic in the role.

Seeing those films really shook me out of my wallowing, and in my shaking I remembered all the things I'm doing to move forward - I've been doing my New Year's mailing, started two new classes this week, signed up for four casting director workshops this month, and lo and behold I've been getting called to audition! The town feels like it's waking back up a bit, and I'm waking back up with it. 2009 holds great things, and I'm going to have my hand fully in making them happen.

I walked down the street in the sunshine today and realized I was smiling for no other reason than being happy in the sunshine. It made me smile even bigger. I wish you all sunshine and smiles!

(I will never subject you to this brand of warm fuzziness again, I prom-- I better not promise. I'll do my best.)