Seriously. They are. Have you tried them? You must. Ingredients: Unsulfured, unsweetened dried mangos; deliciousness. That's it. They have all the positive aspects of candy and crack with none of the draggy side-effects.
But I really just needed a title.
Things are good. Last night I saw one of the casting directors for "Grey's Anatomy" for the second time, and it went well. He also remembered me, which was exciting. I also saw a woman from "House" last weekend, which did not go as well... This workshop place gives you the sides ahead of time, which is great, because you can memorize and do some character work. But I find that the longer I have the scene, the longer I have to stress about it and feel bad about it if it isn't where I feel like it should be and I get in my head and blah blah blah. It's silly. So I'm working on that.
I heard from both shows that they don't hire non-union at all, just SAG-Eligible and SAG. I knew that was usually the case, but hearing that they are very definitive about it reminded me that I really need to get my third voucher. I have this optimistic unrealistic idealism that SAG eligibility is going to fall into my lap because someone is going to discover how amazing I am and how I am the Only One Who Can Do This One Thing and I won't have to do any more extra work (not that there is anything wrong with that) and it's just going to magically happen.
It may be time to move past that. I'm one voucher away. I should go do some more extra work.
I also had my first commercial audition this week, for a Zyrtec print ad. It was the best sort of first commercial audition, because it really and truly had nothing to do with my ability whatsoever. Based on looks. Can't do anything about 'em. I was totally fine. The role was for "curvy/chubby jogger." Let me tell you how much I loved that. Trying to focus on the "curvy" part. I also thought it was sort of funny that that was the first thing my new agent sent me on.
Oh! Yeah! I got an agent!!! So the meeting went well. He is going to send me out commercially for now. I asked about theatrical and he said he can't really send me out until I'm SAG-Eligible or on IMDB, which I understand, especially after the latest round of CD workshops. Hmm. Maybe I should go do some more extra work. Both SAG-e and IMDB were already goals for this year. So I'm working on that.
I had a callback today for a student film. I was reading for the lead girl and this guy leaned over and whispered to the director. She had me read for the friend, they re-directed, and then she was pretty funny: "Wow. That was - you took that direction really well. I'm going to call you. Would you mind playing the friend? I'm definitely going to call you." I thought it was sort of funny. I'll believe it when she calls, but it was fun.
Final thing in this Ridiculously Long Post Because I Forgot I Have Things To Talk About: I had lunch with a friend from Macalester who happens to be an agent-in-training at a huge (Top 5) agency. It was fun to re-connect and power lunch in Beverly Hills. I'm excited to have another friend in LA and excited to have another industry connection.
It's been a great January.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Industrial shoot! Agent meeting!
It's fun to have things to talk about. :)
The industrial shoot was very fun. Three person crew, all were pleasant and personable. We were joking a lot, which was imperative since my co-star was my diaphram. Also our cat, Luna, jumped in and worked for some of the shots. During the others I relegated him to his trailer (our bathroom). I just did what I was told and changed clothes a lot. Super easy money. The shoot ended with me and Xan kissing, which was a first. (I mean to film it. Not to kiss. We have done that a few times.) Aside from me being awkward when they were leaving and not riding down in the elevator with them, it was a success.
My agent meeting this morning went well...I think. I was in there for all of 13 minutes, but I think we hit it off. The first part was pleasant small talk, then he asked if I had been going out a lot lately. I told him I shot something yesterday and talked about that casting person and knowing Bonnie from the showcase. He asked if I had met with any other agents lately, and I said "No, not lately..." (Which is not a lie!) And then that was it! It ended so abruptly that I was totally taken by surprise and I didn't get a chance to tell him who knew my work, that I am one voucher away from SAG eligible, who I'm meeting in the next few weeks... He said he would look at the rest of my pics on actors access and then give me a call tomorrow to "get me set up." I'm being cautiously optimistic that that means I'm in, I'm just not sure in what capacity. The only thing that made me doubt it being a good meeting was its shortness. Brevity is the soul of...a good agent meeting? Hopefully. I'll let you know.
Regardless, I felt immense joy driving down Sepulveda with the windows rolled down singing Dixie Chicks at the top of my lungs on another beautiful and ridiculously warm day in Los Angeles.
The industrial shoot was very fun. Three person crew, all were pleasant and personable. We were joking a lot, which was imperative since my co-star was my diaphram. Also our cat, Luna, jumped in and worked for some of the shots. During the others I relegated him to his trailer (our bathroom). I just did what I was told and changed clothes a lot. Super easy money. The shoot ended with me and Xan kissing, which was a first. (I mean to film it. Not to kiss. We have done that a few times.) Aside from me being awkward when they were leaving and not riding down in the elevator with them, it was a success.
My agent meeting this morning went well...I think. I was in there for all of 13 minutes, but I think we hit it off. The first part was pleasant small talk, then he asked if I had been going out a lot lately. I told him I shot something yesterday and talked about that casting person and knowing Bonnie from the showcase. He asked if I had met with any other agents lately, and I said "No, not lately..." (Which is not a lie!) And then that was it! It ended so abruptly that I was totally taken by surprise and I didn't get a chance to tell him who knew my work, that I am one voucher away from SAG eligible, who I'm meeting in the next few weeks... He said he would look at the rest of my pics on actors access and then give me a call tomorrow to "get me set up." I'm being cautiously optimistic that that means I'm in, I'm just not sure in what capacity. The only thing that made me doubt it being a good meeting was its shortness. Brevity is the soul of...a good agent meeting? Hopefully. I'll let you know.
Regardless, I felt immense joy driving down Sepulveda with the windows rolled down singing Dixie Chicks at the top of my lungs on another beautiful and ridiculously warm day in Los Angeles.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
My Diaphram Got Me a Job
Can't wait to see the hits that blog title brings.
I just booked a women's health industrial based on my headshot, having a boyfriend, and my ownership of a diaphram. (I don't use it. Does that push this whole post more or less toward TMI?)
We're shooting in my apartment, which is a little weird, but the woman sent me a website to see their other work and it seems pretty legit. I'll let you know.
Watch the internet and your local OB-GYN office to catch me, Xan, and my diaphram. In a totally non-sexual way, I promise. Or else I'll have a really interesting post for tomorrow...
Tomorrow is my agent meeting! Fingers crossed!
I just booked a women's health industrial based on my headshot, having a boyfriend, and my ownership of a diaphram. (I don't use it. Does that push this whole post more or less toward TMI?)
We're shooting in my apartment, which is a little weird, but the woman sent me a website to see their other work and it seems pretty legit. I'll let you know.
Watch the internet and your local OB-GYN office to catch me, Xan, and my diaphram. In a totally non-sexual way, I promise. Or else I'll have a really interesting post for tomorrow...
Tomorrow is my agent meeting! Fingers crossed!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Resolution Amendment
I know amending a resolution sort of defeats the whole purpose, but you'll shortly see why it's necessary.
One of my New Year's Resolutions for 2009 was to never skip an audition. I skipped an audition for a student film back in October, and it was the LAST AUDITION I GOT IN 2008. A sign? Maybe not, but I decided to take it as one and not do that again.
Well, this week I got called in to audition for an "original play" with a dubious title at a theatre I had never heard of. (Why did I submit for this? This is a question I have asked myself at least 7 times already.) I went back and forth, wondering how I could ask to see the script before I went. It also turned out to be sort of a hassle to arrange it so I could have the car to get there, but owing to my resolution, we did it and I drove for 2 hours this morning before work so that I could go to the audition.
And it was a mistake.
My gut was telling me not to go, but I went because of my resolution. Hence the need for an amendment.
I reserve the right not to go to an audition if it seems to be shitty, either from the correspondence with the casting person or upon further review of the breakdown. I also promise to hold myself accountable and not do "meh" submissions when it is against my better judgment. I owe myself both of those things. I try not to be high and mighty or take myself too seriously, but the truth is that there are some things that just aren't worth my time. So I shouldn't go audition for them. Makes sense.
I did see someone I knew there. That's always fun. We read together and then stood outside and sort of had a laugh about it. And it got me out of the office, which has been particularly heinous today. So not a total waste of a lunch break, but close. I also re-discovered that I had the song "You's a Ho" on a mix cd my sister gave me years ago. I love that song. That was the highlight of the whole thing.
One of my New Year's Resolutions for 2009 was to never skip an audition. I skipped an audition for a student film back in October, and it was the LAST AUDITION I GOT IN 2008. A sign? Maybe not, but I decided to take it as one and not do that again.
Well, this week I got called in to audition for an "original play" with a dubious title at a theatre I had never heard of. (Why did I submit for this? This is a question I have asked myself at least 7 times already.) I went back and forth, wondering how I could ask to see the script before I went. It also turned out to be sort of a hassle to arrange it so I could have the car to get there, but owing to my resolution, we did it and I drove for 2 hours this morning before work so that I could go to the audition.
And it was a mistake.
My gut was telling me not to go, but I went because of my resolution. Hence the need for an amendment.
I reserve the right not to go to an audition if it seems to be shitty, either from the correspondence with the casting person or upon further review of the breakdown. I also promise to hold myself accountable and not do "meh" submissions when it is against my better judgment. I owe myself both of those things. I try not to be high and mighty or take myself too seriously, but the truth is that there are some things that just aren't worth my time. So I shouldn't go audition for them. Makes sense.
I did see someone I knew there. That's always fun. We read together and then stood outside and sort of had a laugh about it. And it got me out of the office, which has been particularly heinous today. So not a total waste of a lunch break, but close. I also re-discovered that I had the song "You's a Ho" on a mix cd my sister gave me years ago. I love that song. That was the highlight of the whole thing.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Happy 2009!
Well, folks, it's here and it's good: The Future.
Hope the holidays treated everyone fairly. I had a (mostly) great time at home and it was fantastic to see my family. I returned to LA jazzed and ready for 2009.
You know, that's actually not true. I was very sad when I was coming back. I got bumped and then un-bumped, so I sat in Business Class unable to enjoy my consolation prize of free drinks and more leg room and feeling sorry for myself for coming back to an empty apartment and a job that isn't what I want to be doing. I was feeling like the future was stretching out bleakly ahead with nothing interesting or sparkling in sight. And a week later (one little week!) I feel better, because I was wrong.
In the last week, I have seen two amazing and inspiring movies that reminded me of why I am an actor - Doubt and Revolutionary Road. I think Doubt was the best translation of a play to film that I have ever seen. I studied abroad with Frank Wheeler's affair in Revolutionary Road, so it was very fun to watch her. Xan discovered an awesome story about Michael Shannon, the guy who plays John Givings, the lunatic. Firstly, he was phenomenal, and definitely deserves a Best Supporting Actor nomination, in my humble opinion. Apparently he is one of those examples of an actor who paid attention and read the trades and when he saw that Revolutionary Road was being cast, he knew he was perfect for the part from reading the book, contacted his manager, Sam Mendes knew of him from theatre in London, and bam! he got the part. Well, I'm sure there was more to it between Sam Mendes and bam!, but it gives me great hope to hear stories like that. Especially when he was absolutely fantastic in the role.
Seeing those films really shook me out of my wallowing, and in my shaking I remembered all the things I'm doing to move forward - I've been doing my New Year's mailing, started two new classes this week, signed up for four casting director workshops this month, and lo and behold I've been getting called to audition! The town feels like it's waking back up a bit, and I'm waking back up with it. 2009 holds great things, and I'm going to have my hand fully in making them happen.
I walked down the street in the sunshine today and realized I was smiling for no other reason than being happy in the sunshine. It made me smile even bigger. I wish you all sunshine and smiles!
(I will never subject you to this brand of warm fuzziness again, I prom-- I better not promise. I'll do my best.)
Hope the holidays treated everyone fairly. I had a (mostly) great time at home and it was fantastic to see my family. I returned to LA jazzed and ready for 2009.
You know, that's actually not true. I was very sad when I was coming back. I got bumped and then un-bumped, so I sat in Business Class unable to enjoy my consolation prize of free drinks and more leg room and feeling sorry for myself for coming back to an empty apartment and a job that isn't what I want to be doing. I was feeling like the future was stretching out bleakly ahead with nothing interesting or sparkling in sight. And a week later (one little week!) I feel better, because I was wrong.
In the last week, I have seen two amazing and inspiring movies that reminded me of why I am an actor - Doubt and Revolutionary Road. I think Doubt was the best translation of a play to film that I have ever seen. I studied abroad with Frank Wheeler's affair in Revolutionary Road, so it was very fun to watch her. Xan discovered an awesome story about Michael Shannon, the guy who plays John Givings, the lunatic. Firstly, he was phenomenal, and definitely deserves a Best Supporting Actor nomination, in my humble opinion. Apparently he is one of those examples of an actor who paid attention and read the trades and when he saw that Revolutionary Road was being cast, he knew he was perfect for the part from reading the book, contacted his manager, Sam Mendes knew of him from theatre in London, and bam! he got the part. Well, I'm sure there was more to it between Sam Mendes and bam!, but it gives me great hope to hear stories like that. Especially when he was absolutely fantastic in the role.
Seeing those films really shook me out of my wallowing, and in my shaking I remembered all the things I'm doing to move forward - I've been doing my New Year's mailing, started two new classes this week, signed up for four casting director workshops this month, and lo and behold I've been getting called to audition! The town feels like it's waking back up a bit, and I'm waking back up with it. 2009 holds great things, and I'm going to have my hand fully in making them happen.
I walked down the street in the sunshine today and realized I was smiling for no other reason than being happy in the sunshine. It made me smile even bigger. I wish you all sunshine and smiles!
(I will never subject you to this brand of warm fuzziness again, I prom-- I better not promise. I'll do my best.)
Thursday, December 25, 2008
My New Venture
Check it...my cousin Effie Mae had quite the ordeal trying to fly home for the holidays...
:) Merry Christmas!
:) Merry Christmas!
Friday, December 19, 2008
My Type
Last night in the fabulously fantastic class that I'm in, we tackled Type, the big elephantine monster that I've been afraid to ask anyone about but unsure of how to figure out for sure on my own. It was awesome.
Everyone walked around and handed each other index cards, then you stood and looked at each other, writing down 5 things that came to mind immediately. It was difficult with the people I already know, because you want to try not to factor in personality or personal history. I highly highly recommend doing this...if you randomly find yourself in the company of a small group of kind and well-meaning strangers. Or in class.
Here is what I got. Any emphasis or parentheticals are what was written down. Numbers in parentheses are when I got repeats of the exact same phrase.
20-26
athletic (x2)
best friend (x3)
best girlfriend
bitchy
bookstore clerk
chipper
classy
closeted sex kitten (by "closeted" I mean "non-slutty")
clothing store owner
college type
comedic cop
confidant
cute (x3)
cute
cute caring girlfriend
cute friend
daredevil
dry humored friend
early 20s (x3)
excited for the future
faithful
free spirited
friendly
fun
funny (x3)
geeky
girl next door (x4)
girlfriend
good ol' girl
goofball
grad student
grounded (x2)
happy
hipster
honest
intelligent
Jennifer Aniston
Laura Linney in her 20s
loving
loyal (this was underlined but blogger won't let me do that)
mid 20s (x2)
middle class (x2)
midwestern (x2)
neighbor
nerd
nurse
outgoing
playful
post graduate student
pretty
quiet
quirky (x2)
sarcastic
scholar
sexy
shy
silly
slightly unsure of herself
smart
smarter than she lets on
smiley
sports player
spunky
spunky (like Punky)
suck up
sweet
sweet girl next door mom
thoughtful
tomboy (x2)
tough
warm
wide-eyed
works in a German bar
young assistant to shit boss
young mom (x2)
These are a little all over the place, but I can certainly see all of them in myself. If you plotted them all on a Venn diagram of some sort, I'm pretty sure the majority would fall in the same circle. Now I know: I'm perfect for the cute girl next door funny best friend in her mid 20s. Bring it.
Funnily enough, there were two breakdowns today that were pretty spot-on for me. I submitted to both, and already got called in for one. Yay! Hopefully they'll be able to see me when I get back.
Also: if you care about acting, incarceration, Shakespeare, theatre, or any combination of those, watch Shakespeare Behind Bars. They have it on Netflix. It is wonderful and inspiring and heartbreaking and reminded me of why I fell in love with acting in the first place and how I can actually make a difference pursuing what I love.
I get on a plane tonight to go home for the first time in a year and I am absolutely ecstatic. Happy happy holidays to you all, and may 2009 bring us all wonderful things!
Everyone walked around and handed each other index cards, then you stood and looked at each other, writing down 5 things that came to mind immediately. It was difficult with the people I already know, because you want to try not to factor in personality or personal history. I highly highly recommend doing this...if you randomly find yourself in the company of a small group of kind and well-meaning strangers. Or in class.
Here is what I got. Any emphasis or parentheticals are what was written down. Numbers in parentheses are when I got repeats of the exact same phrase.
20-26
athletic (x2)
best friend (x3)
best girlfriend
bitchy
bookstore clerk
chipper
classy
closeted sex kitten (by "closeted" I mean "non-slutty")
clothing store owner
college type
comedic cop
confidant
cute (x3)
cute
cute caring girlfriend
cute friend
daredevil
dry humored friend
early 20s (x3)
excited for the future
faithful
free spirited
friendly
fun
funny (x3)
geeky
girl next door (x4)
girlfriend
good ol' girl
goofball
grad student
grounded (x2)
happy
hipster
honest
intelligent
Jennifer Aniston
Laura Linney in her 20s
loving
loyal (this was underlined but blogger won't let me do that)
mid 20s (x2)
middle class (x2)
midwestern (x2)
neighbor
nerd
nurse
outgoing
playful
post graduate student
pretty
quiet
quirky (x2)
sarcastic
scholar
sexy
shy
silly
slightly unsure of herself
smart
smarter than she lets on
smiley
sports player
spunky
spunky (like Punky)
suck up
sweet
sweet girl next door mom
thoughtful
tomboy (x2)
tough
warm
wide-eyed
works in a German bar
young assistant to shit boss
young mom (x2)
These are a little all over the place, but I can certainly see all of them in myself. If you plotted them all on a Venn diagram of some sort, I'm pretty sure the majority would fall in the same circle. Now I know: I'm perfect for the cute girl next door funny best friend in her mid 20s. Bring it.
Funnily enough, there were two breakdowns today that were pretty spot-on for me. I submitted to both, and already got called in for one. Yay! Hopefully they'll be able to see me when I get back.
Also: if you care about acting, incarceration, Shakespeare, theatre, or any combination of those, watch Shakespeare Behind Bars. They have it on Netflix. It is wonderful and inspiring and heartbreaking and reminded me of why I fell in love with acting in the first place and how I can actually make a difference pursuing what I love.
I get on a plane tonight to go home for the first time in a year and I am absolutely ecstatic. Happy happy holidays to you all, and may 2009 bring us all wonderful things!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
People Make Me Happy
I started the day on a jam-packed bus with four strangers spending twenty minutes very much inside of my personal space, and, oddly enough, it made me pensive rather than annoyed. (Which is certainly a healthier emotion, but I don't always adhere to those sorts of logic.) Consequently, I seem to be very reflective today. I stumbled upon this video called "Where the Hell is Matt?," and I absolutely love it.
I had an idiot grin on my face the whole time I was watching it, and then alternated between chills and the desire to cry. It's possible that I'm PMSing and it's making me over-sappy, because sometimes that happens, but I just love the idea of this man walking up to total strangers all over the world with whom he does not even share a language and getting them to dance with him. The children are my favorite. And I've always been a sucker for large orchestration and scope.
So anyway. I hope you enjoy that.
On the bus this morning, a girl wrestled her way the the front, seemingly randomly, and then sort of petulantly said to the bus driver "Robertson" as we were passing the street. He explained that we were on an express bus that did not stop there. She apparently was not aware of this, and asked him to pull over a few blocks away and let her out, not at a stop. I was sort of shocked when he obliged, and then I realized that people showing kindness to those who don't necessarily deserve it might be one of the things that makes the world go around. You know, besides gravity and stuff.
I had an idiot grin on my face the whole time I was watching it, and then alternated between chills and the desire to cry. It's possible that I'm PMSing and it's making me over-sappy, because sometimes that happens, but I just love the idea of this man walking up to total strangers all over the world with whom he does not even share a language and getting them to dance with him. The children are my favorite. And I've always been a sucker for large orchestration and scope.
So anyway. I hope you enjoy that.
On the bus this morning, a girl wrestled her way the the front, seemingly randomly, and then sort of petulantly said to the bus driver "Robertson" as we were passing the street. He explained that we were on an express bus that did not stop there. She apparently was not aware of this, and asked him to pull over a few blocks away and let her out, not at a stop. I was sort of shocked when he obliged, and then I realized that people showing kindness to those who don't necessarily deserve it might be one of the things that makes the world go around. You know, besides gravity and stuff.
Friday, December 5, 2008
What did you do this week?
Last night I attended the first class of a sort of marketing/acting industry info/actors support network thingy. It's facilitated by Bonnie Gillespie, so I already knew that the time would be well spent, but I wasn't sure what it would be like. Now I know - it was fantastic.
I was excited by the other attendees, many of whom I previously knew and really liked. The other folks there also seem like really smart, on the ball actors - exactly the people I want to surround myself with.
We went around introducing ourselves and sharing a fun facts (which, after two showcases, I am quickly running out of) and then moved on to my favorite part of the night. Bonnie had us all go around and say something positive that had happened in our careers this week.
At first, I panicked. Things have been really slow and I haven't been doing much. But when it was my turn, I said that I had gotten called in for two auditions, the first in a couple of months, so that was good. And that I am in my first commercial, even though it's unpaid because I appeared on the show and signed away the rights. And I started this class this week. So, all in all, not too bad.
Other folks had booked their first nationals, seen the final product of their pilots, shot co-star roles on network tv, seen their episode of The Shield (to find that their storyline had been cut, but still), and met with agents and managers.
I think all of us realized that if you really stop and take stock of all the things you're doing, you'll be surprised that the list is not as short as you may have thought.
A friend of mine in the group mentioned that she moved to Los Angeles a year ago this week. She's done a fair amount of stuff and is commercially repped and has a manager, etc, which is great in the amount of time she's been here. I realized that I have only been really pursuing acting here since last January, when I got my headshots taken and stopped using my old black and white shots from long ago and far away, and that what I've accomplished in that time doesn't feel like a whole lot, but it's also nothing to sneeze at. And then a very wise member of our group pointed out that anything you accomplish before you've been in Los Angeles for five years is pretty dang good.
I'm so happy to have a positive and supportive group of people to help me keep things in perspective and share tools and successes. Starting this class was the best thing I've done for my career this week.
Sort of negative side note, but I have to get it out: I'm still a little frustrated when I hear about other folks who got called in from the last showcase, when I got nary a peep. But trying to put that out of my mind and not worry about it. There! It's gone! And I'm happy to say that whenever I feel that way, the overwhelming feeling is happy for them for getting called in. I've finally gotten it through my head that another person's success does not eliminate or negate my own. It's a good feeling. I feel like I've shed a layer of petty and insecure and replaced it with a little more maturity.
Time to get ready for January's push. Cause 2009 is going to be a great year.
I was excited by the other attendees, many of whom I previously knew and really liked. The other folks there also seem like really smart, on the ball actors - exactly the people I want to surround myself with.
We went around introducing ourselves and sharing a fun facts (which, after two showcases, I am quickly running out of) and then moved on to my favorite part of the night. Bonnie had us all go around and say something positive that had happened in our careers this week.
At first, I panicked. Things have been really slow and I haven't been doing much. But when it was my turn, I said that I had gotten called in for two auditions, the first in a couple of months, so that was good. And that I am in my first commercial, even though it's unpaid because I appeared on the show and signed away the rights. And I started this class this week. So, all in all, not too bad.
Other folks had booked their first nationals, seen the final product of their pilots, shot co-star roles on network tv, seen their episode of The Shield (to find that their storyline had been cut, but still), and met with agents and managers.
I think all of us realized that if you really stop and take stock of all the things you're doing, you'll be surprised that the list is not as short as you may have thought.
A friend of mine in the group mentioned that she moved to Los Angeles a year ago this week. She's done a fair amount of stuff and is commercially repped and has a manager, etc, which is great in the amount of time she's been here. I realized that I have only been really pursuing acting here since last January, when I got my headshots taken and stopped using my old black and white shots from long ago and far away, and that what I've accomplished in that time doesn't feel like a whole lot, but it's also nothing to sneeze at. And then a very wise member of our group pointed out that anything you accomplish before you've been in Los Angeles for five years is pretty dang good.
I'm so happy to have a positive and supportive group of people to help me keep things in perspective and share tools and successes. Starting this class was the best thing I've done for my career this week.
Sort of negative side note, but I have to get it out: I'm still a little frustrated when I hear about other folks who got called in from the last showcase, when I got nary a peep. But trying to put that out of my mind and not worry about it. There! It's gone! And I'm happy to say that whenever I feel that way, the overwhelming feeling is happy for them for getting called in. I've finally gotten it through my head that another person's success does not eliminate or negate my own. It's a good feeling. I feel like I've shed a layer of petty and insecure and replaced it with a little more maturity.
Time to get ready for January's push. Cause 2009 is going to be a great year.
Monday, November 24, 2008
So, Kind Reader - tell me what to do
So I've never directly addressed anyone who might be reading this, instead preferring to erect a pseudo-fourth wall in the blogosphere, I suppose. The wall is coming down, folks. I have three followers (hey-oh!) and the time has come to elicit response.
So. I am a creative person. When you get to the root of why I want to be an actor and what I want to do with my life and why I'm slogging through the slog I'm slogging and yadda yadda yadda, it boils down to my need to create and feel like I'm contributing something through that creation. When I'm working on a project or I have something in the future I'm working towards, no matter how small it may be, I always feel better.
So. My question to you is this - what do you do when you don't have anything creatively exciting in sight? Or anything creative at all?
I'm not at that point. I have a reading next week that I'm very excited about, and I know that I'm always only a step away from doing something myself to pull myself out of the cubicled fog of 9 to 5-ery, and I still have two more performances of my sketch show. But I want to know what other folks have done to keep themselves from falling into the Depths of Despair that are somewhat unavoidable when creative people aren't expressing themselves.
I see it in myself, and I see it in the people around me. I was always happiest in high school (possibly the only times I was happy in high school) when I was doing a show, and that hasn't changed. The people I love most in this world don't do well when they're not working on or excited about something. It's hard to watch, especially because I recognize the feeling. (Also, right now, it's compounded by being really broke and there not being any work, which is terrifying. I have three friends in the temp world who are achingly desperate for work.)
Self-discipline isn't always my strong suit, but I'm trying to change that. So I thought I would ask for some advice. Any help avoiding a self-imposed mental quagmire filled with self-doubt and questions about self-worth with a side of self-loathing is greatly appreciated.
So. Thanks in advance.
So. I am a creative person. When you get to the root of why I want to be an actor and what I want to do with my life and why I'm slogging through the slog I'm slogging and yadda yadda yadda, it boils down to my need to create and feel like I'm contributing something through that creation. When I'm working on a project or I have something in the future I'm working towards, no matter how small it may be, I always feel better.
So. My question to you is this - what do you do when you don't have anything creatively exciting in sight? Or anything creative at all?
I'm not at that point. I have a reading next week that I'm very excited about, and I know that I'm always only a step away from doing something myself to pull myself out of the cubicled fog of 9 to 5-ery, and I still have two more performances of my sketch show. But I want to know what other folks have done to keep themselves from falling into the Depths of Despair that are somewhat unavoidable when creative people aren't expressing themselves.
I see it in myself, and I see it in the people around me. I was always happiest in high school (possibly the only times I was happy in high school) when I was doing a show, and that hasn't changed. The people I love most in this world don't do well when they're not working on or excited about something. It's hard to watch, especially because I recognize the feeling. (Also, right now, it's compounded by being really broke and there not being any work, which is terrifying. I have three friends in the temp world who are achingly desperate for work.)
Self-discipline isn't always my strong suit, but I'm trying to change that. So I thought I would ask for some advice. Any help avoiding a self-imposed mental quagmire filled with self-doubt and questions about self-worth with a side of self-loathing is greatly appreciated.
So. Thanks in advance.
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