A letter to my brain

Dear Brain,

I love you. I appreciate you immensely. My conscious side of you can't even begin to comprehend all the things you do for me or the complexity of how you work. I would be no one and nowhere without you. You have my lifelong heartfelt self-pumped thanks.

Could you please do me a favor? When I go to bed, could you please just take a rest? That's really all I ask. I don't want you to shut down completely. I want to reward you for everything you go through for me every day. For the things you process for me and the things I have buried deep in your recesses that you don't make me face on a daily basis. Thank you. Take a much deserved break. Please. I implore you.

We don't need to imagine earthquake scenarios every night. We don't have to go through all the options for furniture arrangement in our new apartment. We don't have to make a design for a shelf that would hide the litter box in the bathroom. And when it's time for bed, we don't need to worry about anything or anyone. We can reserve that for the upright hours.

Last night I tried to help you. 9:15 pm, I'm brushed and washed and in bed reading to try to slow you down. Lights out twenty minutes later. We're exhausted. My eyelids snap shut like brand-new tupperware. And off you go. To the races. You wouldn't even stop after I took an Ambien two hours later. When I finally fell asleep, you were delightfully contemplating the hallucinations behind my eyelids that were created by your refusal to succumb to the drug's delightful induced stupor.

I'm going to give you another chance, and most likely, another after that. Let's face it - we're in this together, for life. I'd really appreciate if we could reach some sort of compromise. You know where to find me. I eagerly await your response.

Sincerely,

Lauren

May 12 of 12!

"12 of 12" is a cool thing started by a guy named Chad Darnell. Check him out for details and 12 of 12s from around the world!


1 of 12 - 8:04 am - I love when they keep old ads. One of my favorite drivebys every morning. (Soon this will no longer be on my commute - we're moving!)


2 of 12 - 8:45 am - Breakfast: coffee, apple, and actor's access.


3 of 12 - 1:45pm Clusterbundleness. Ah, Westwood.


4 of 12 - 2:03 pm - Doing my part to support the USPS...


5 of 12 - 2:17 pm - I did not make the purchase.


6 of 12 - 3:05 pm - I want it!


7 of 12 - 6:11 pm - I love these trees. They are in bloom all over LA and are gorgeous!


8 of 12 - 6:28 pm - Being artsy while locked out of my apartment.


9 of 12 - 6:30 pm - I will miss this view when we leave. Roof access rocks.


10 of 12 - 6:33 pm - So heartbreaking! I saw Luna in our window and he started meowing frantically for me and trying to get to me. I felt terrible!


11 of 12 - 8:47 pm - Got into apartment, hugged cat, and left to come sign the new lease! Celebrating with the future roomies.


12 of 12 - 11:16 pm - Long day. Bookshelf clock says time for bed.

Thanks for checking out my day!

Thoughts on doing what you love

Yesterday evening, on the way home from hiking at Runyon Canyon, we passed a guy walking his dog in his scrubs. I don't know who he is or if any of my assumptions are correct, but it just made me think how wonderful it must be to do what it is you love doing. What if I loved coming to work everyday at my survival admin job? What would it be like to be content and happy with where you are and what you do? What will it be like when I can say the same for myself?

Xan and I were talking recently about how much easier life would be if we were content living somewhere else, pursuing different careers, and raising babies like so many of the people we know who seem to be perfectly happy doing that. It seems like a romantic ideal, but the difference is that we know ourselves and know that while other people are happy with that, we wouldn't be. Good to know, I suppose. Sometimes I wonder if I had a Morpheus offering me a pill where I would remember nothing and be content with a different life if I would take it.

I don't think I would. But sometimes it's tempting.

Neat-o

Rearranging your thinking is powerful stuff.

Friday I got a call from the guy that I had an awesome audition and callback with back in early March. I emailed him after the audition thanking him for his kindness, which truly was above and beyond. He told me the only reason I'm not in the show is that I was too young and pretty to play his wife and that he wanted to extend himself to me as a resource. I think that is so awesome and can't wait until I'm a working actor and can extend a hand to someone who is just starting out.

Friday night I got a call from a student who found me on LA Casting and was friends with someone on my resume. When he called the other student director, he recommended me and now I'm shooting with him this weekend.

I think that's pretty neat.

I broke the seal...

...and now I can't stop! Two in one day!

The episode of "Leaving Bliss" that I'm in is up. Xan and I both have small parts at the beginning. I'm thrilled to be involved in something so hilarious. This episode features David Lawrence from "Heroes." My friends Shanna and Steve have done yet another fabulous episode.

Want to be a good actor? Try being a kid.

My mom can keep tabs on her children by the frequency of their calls. With my sister, no news is good news. With my brother, no news is good news because if there is news it's usually big news. And with me, no news means I'm not doing very well.

The same seems to be the trend in my blogging.

I'm fine, please don't be alarmed. But March was rough for me, both personally and actorally. (Those are the same thing. But I just made up 'actorally' and I wanted to use it.) March was a month filled with more self-doubt and "what am I doing with my life?" moments than I would like. But March is over now, so we're moving on.

I just started the Foundation Intensive at Margie Haber Studios. I had been shopping around for acting classes and had audited another that I hope to attend in the future, but we happened to go to this orientation the day after it occurred to me that I haven't been in an actual acting class in a time long enough to grow a fairly medium-sized child, and that that is entirely unacceptable, so when they said "Class starts Tuesday and we'll offer you $100 off" I jumped at the chance.

Last night was our second class. I like it. I spent the beginning of the first class battling my ego in my head, as only about 4 out of the 14 of us have any acting experience whatsoever. But it doesn't matter. It's all on-camera and it's all audition technique, both of which are things I desperately need to learn.

The approach is basically "Hey, remember when you were a kid and you played and used your imagination? That was when you were a good actor." It's interesting. Actually imagining and living the life of the character is already helping me get more specific and more truthful and less actor-y. The beautiful side-effect is that this approach allows me to find the art in creating a character every time, even if I only have two pages of sides. I've found a way to link acting with auditioning that works for me. That makes me happy.

As with all things, I'm taking some of it with a grain of salt. I will concede that I have some bad habits that I need to un-learn, but I don't think I need to throw out everything I've ever learned about acting ever. That's a bit extreme. I appreciate what the teacher is saying, but her approach is at times lacking in the finesse department. She yells and curses to make her point and then says "I'm not yelling at you, I'm yelling with you" or "I'm sorry, I'm just very passionate." That sounds an awful lot like the guy who treats people like shit and then excuses it with "Sorry, I'm an asshole. That's just who I am." But hey, we all have our faults. And her nuggets of brilliance outweigh her moments of yelling.

So. I apologize for the writing hiatus. I hope you're well and April is a beautiful month for us all.

With a Little Patience, 'Leaving Bliss' Has Arrived

My friend Shanna's hilarious webseries got reviewed by tubefilter! You should watch all the episodes so that you'll be caught up by the time I have a part in Episode 7...

With a Little Patience, 'Leaving Bliss' Has Arrived

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March 12 of 12

My March 12 of 12 is live in Decatur, GA, where I'm home for my grandmother's funeral. Good to be home and to see my family while we celebrate Mama Sue's long life.


1 of 12 - 9:30 am - Up and at 'em. View from the bedroom in my Mom's house.


2 of 12 - 10:00 am - Mom doing some morning emailing.


3 of 12 - 10:45 am - Brunch with my dad and sister at Sun In My Belly in Decatur. Got my grits fix!


4 of 12 - 12:00 pm - Time to wake up our brother.

5 of 12 - 2:45 pm - Shopping with mom and sis. Looking for funeral wear...found awesome tracksuit instead. That should work, right?


6 of 12 - 4:12 pm - Trying to cash in the change Mom's students brought in for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. We think we broke the machine.


7 of 12 - 5:45 pm - Mama Sue was a looker in her day. I love looking at these old pictures.


8 of 12 - 7:30 pm - Peter, my brother, climbing a tree per usual on our walk before dinner. Loving daylight savings time right about now.


9 of 12 - 7:35 pm - Whoever preceded me in the Candler Park parking lot shared my sentiments.


10 of 12 - 8:07 pm - Artistry to accompany paella at La Fonda Cantina.


11 of 12 - 10:45 pm - Peter on the phone with his ladyfriend.


12 of 12 - 11:55 pm - A trip down memory lane before bed. Love that Mom has all these pictures out in the living room.

Effie Mae is looking for a date

Effie Mae, my alter ego, is lonely. She decided to do something about it.

Le sigh.

So I was waiting to post because I thought I was going to have some Really Exciting News. But the longer I wait, the less likely it seems that that specific Really Exciting News is going to pan out. Hence le sigh.

So I'll just talk about the good part. Monday night I had an awesome audition that turned into a callback for a theatre in Glendale. It was a blast. The material was fun, I was right for the part, and I nailed it. They had me read over and over and over again with different people and seemed impressed and were very complimentary. At the end of the night, they sent everyone home but me and another girl, and had us read another scene together. Then they sent her home and sat me down and talked to me about cutting my hair, what my work schedule is like, where I live, etc. I left at midnight and felt like they had basically said everything except "We'd like to offer you the part."

And that was Monday. Sigh. But! It's the nature of the biz! And I'm not completely giving up hope.

I've also started another venture, which I think could turn out to be really cool. It's a blog of free stuff in LA. Please check out BrokeLA. If you don't live here, it will let you know all the cool stuff you're missing.

I got a cute message from my mom and stepdad this week telling me I could come home because they're shooting a movie in my hometown of Decatur, GA. It's actually sort of tempting, because I'd probably have an easier time getting my last SAG voucher being an extra there than here. So maybe I'll go home for a much desired visit in pursuit of my SAG eligibility. And their awesome cooking.