Watching Yourself On Film Is Weird

So this is a new experience for me, but something I will have to (hopefully) get used to as an actor. I got a copy of the film I shot last week, and I am full of thoughts.

1) Watching yourself on film is weird.

2) The camera really does add weight.

3) Wearing flannel pajama pants that are already too big does not help with number 2.

4) I have dimples!? I mean, I knew I did sometimes, but really?? That much?

5) I have some moles I should probably get removed.

6) I need to stop dropping my chin.

7) My nerves still manifest in "actor voice." (Thankfully, this went away, but I was cringing in the beginning.)(And I can still hear my mom and my sister telling me "Ugh! You were using that voice!!!")

8) I'm sort of scary.

Those are the trivial things that I was noticing watching myself for the first extended amount of time on film. All in all, it turned out pretty well and I'm excited to have something to start a reel. I'm anxious to get the raw footage and see what some of the other takes were.

And, since this wouldn't be a Living the Dream Blog Post if I didn't talk about what I learned, here is what I learned: I have no problem investing and committing when the stakes are high. The more intense the situation, the better I am at being convincing and being "in it." Which is sort of obvious, I suppose. I've heard "raise the stakes" about fifty-nine thousand times, but that really is what I have to do. I struggle in comedy and sketch scenes because the characters often aren't fleshed out, and I struggle to find what's important in whatever they're doing. I'm just going through the motions, and I do enough to get by. That's bad. Now that I've figured this out and finally had a personal epiphany about what every acting teacher and director will tell you, I really have no excuse.

So it's good. Good learning experience. Fun to see. Good to know about my moles. And dimples.

Speed reel coming soon. (!)