Saturday, January 26, 2008

Add being an extra to my list of my jobs that i hate (which is...all of them.)

Yesterday I spent thirteen hours of my life on the set of "17," a seemingly vacuous new Zac Efron movie. The highlight of the day was being in the party scene where spontaneous choreography erupted. And getting to literally step over a prone Zac Efron, after he had been "punched." (It was pretty funny to watch him and the other guy, who looked eerily like a blonde Zac Efron, try to figure out how to punch and where Zac would land. I would bet all the money that has ever been spent on me in my life that neither of these guys has ever been in a fistfight.)

Most of the day I spent sitting alone in a closet (yes, literally, a closet), reading The Sun magazine that I'm quite happy Dad got me for Christmas. Having time to sit and read is nice when it's your decision. Having 8 hours to sit and read while you wait to be used as scenery is not fun. Especially when you're trying to ignore the other people in the very small house that they are using for holding, which happens to be a relic from the 70s complete with orange and brown flower wallpaper and brown shag carpet.

As I sat, alone, in a closet, for about 8 hours, I thought to myself, "Self, you complain about not having any friends in LA, and yet you are sitting in a closet, alone, in a house full of about 150 people your age. Doesn't that make you wonder?"

I did actually make a couple of extra buddies... the guys I was placed next to and I were astonished and then exceedingly irritated by the number of times the PAs had to ask everyone to be quiet on set. We got to talking about it and one of them reminded me that he and I, with degrees in theatre and backgrounds in stage acting, were in the vast minority. Maturity also seemed to be an unpopular trait. But we were cast as "18 to look younger," so maybe everyone else was just a really good actor.

Point being: I hate being an extra. It makes me hate myself and the world. This is not what I want to be doing. This is not how I want to get my SAG eligibility. I came here to act, and to struggle through the ensuing quagmire, but I do have some choice about my path, and I don't think this is how I want to do it. And I'm starting to think that if I don't like something, maybe I shouldn't do it. Which brings me to a conundrum and

Point number two: I hate everything that I'm currently doing. I hate working at Trader Joe's, I hate being an extra, and I hate temping.

Not really sure how to process all this yet. I wish I were in the position to say "Fine, I won't do anything I hate." I never understood what a luxury that was.

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