I got a call from an agent! ...that I would never work with

How sad is that?

There is an Agent who shall remain Nameless who has been calling in every actor since the last showcase, pretty much. I'm one of the last of my little crew, and the other folks who have taken the meetings had to put up with a lot of BS and wasted time to get pitched photographers and other scams. (As well as one instance of a person who actually worked with him and ended up putting up with verbal abuse and severe name calling - the kind that is technically sexual harassment. This guy is a peach.)

Also, if I hadn't already had an army of red flags at the ready about this guy, the following phone conversation would have really put me off:

Me: Hello, this is Lauren.

Dude: Hi, this is _ calling from _'s office at the _ Agency. We've had your headshot on file and would like you to come in for a meeting. Can you come in today at 4:45?

Me: No, actually, I won't be able to do that.

Dude: Oh. Well what about tomorrow at 4:00?

Me: Could I check my schedule and call you back?

Dude: Why?

Me:...because I'm on avail for something tomorrow that I'm not sure is going to pan out, is there a number I could call you back on?

Dude: I mean, is it about other representation?

Me: I just really need to check my calendar. If there isn't a number I can call you back at, then that's fine.

Dude: Well, I guess. You can leave a message at _.

Me: Okay, thank you.

I mean...really? Is that rude or am I just over sensitive? Granted, I knew that I wasn't going in as soon as he said the name of the agency, but I wanted to be able to call back so I could decide how to handle it. When he started being pushy, I was really tempted to say "Actually, I've heard horrible things about your boss and have absolutely no desire to come in and meet with him, thank you very much." But I decided I shouldn't burn a bridge. At least not overtly. So saying I needed to "check my calendar" could have been lame, but it also could have been the truth. I also could have been driving. I mean, I wasn't, but good grief!

So anyway. I hope now that has broken the seal and other agents will call. You know...ones that I don't know to be verbally abusive scam artists.

Oh! I saw a fantastic play in Los Angeles!

And I forgot to talk about it. Shame on me.

Last Friday, I was kindly treated to The Production Company's production of "M. Butterfly" by David Henry Hwang, a play I have loved since reading it in college. I was excited to see it performed, but a little nervous, since the narration is non-linear and the whole play is pretty conceptual and somewhat nebulous in concept.

And it was fantastic. The Chandler Studio is a teeny 33 seat theatre give or take a few folding chairs (which my butt was not happy about sitting on, but that's what you get without a reservation), and the small space was perfect for a play as intimate as "M. Butterfly." I was very impressed and excited to discover the company. I will be sending them a headshot forthwith.

I am amused by the pomposity of this whole post, so I'm going to leave it. ("Forthwith?" Really?)

Anyway, great show! Unfortunately, it closed last weekend, but they did a great job. I'll be eager to check out more of their stuff.

Also, begone, self-doubt "why aren't they calling me" demons!

Forgotten lines and an egg?

That's what my anxiety dream was about last night - we were showing our scene and I couldn't remember any of the lines, so I just let my scene partner do all the talking. And I was holding an egg. Analyze that. I have no idea.

I've now completed my second Cricket Feet Showcase, and it went very well. I was happy with my scene both nights, except for the minor "why aren't they laughing as much as last night?" feeling I already mentioned. That's what happens when your first audience is fantastic.

My feedback was actually fantastic, which was very exciting:

Everyone for the most part was pretty darn good, but Lauren was really good. Shows versatility.

Fun persona for broad sitcom.

Favorite scene.

Good character transition.

LOVED!

So that's great. I felt good about that. But - no one checked the box marked "have actor contact my office." ...why not?

I'm trying not to dwell on that, but it's hard. I've heard of someone else who got tons of rave reviews with no contact requests, but that doesn't really make me feel better for either of us. I am hearing of folks who are getting called in, and I'm super happy for them, but it is really hard to not ask "But why not me?"

I'm trying not to dwell on that and to just focus on the possibility of people remembering me when they need me, and then Wham-O! For now I'm following up with thank you notes with a callback to my scene - probably getting "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" in everyone's head in the process. Heh. I sang that in the scene and it's been in my head 78% of the time for the last month and a half. Now I share.

I was addressing a postcard to an agent that turns out is in the same building I work in, so I took an elevator ride to drop it off...it was sort of anti-climactic. I was expecting the receptionist to see me, gasp, and yell for the agent to come and sign me on the spot. That didn't happen. What gives?

What a week!

I was relieved to the point of tears with the results of the election. Filled with elation and hope and restored faith in the humanity of Americans, a word I can say again now without cringing.

My only sadness is about Prop 8 here in California. I really didn't expect this state to vote to put hatred and prejudice into the constitution. The Prop 8 protest yesterday was right outside my office building. I ran down and wanted to join, but had to leave for the showcase. I took this and some other pictures, viewable at my Flickr page.



As for the showcase, it went very well. I felt great about the scene on Wednesday night. We hit it and the audience loved it. Last night I had a little bit of the second night slump/"why aren't they laughing as much as last night??" blues, so I think I tried a little too hard and it wasn't as real. But I think it still worked. Hopefully somebody wants to meet me!

I felt better about the networking portion, but I didn't really meet anybody this time either. So hard. Argh.

Happy Friday. I need sleep.

Mortified

I am so so sorry for the "Say Yes to Marriage Rights" ad that appears below - I am doing my best to get it removed. Please disregard. No on Prop 8!!!

Gift-ing and Gift-ed

My favorite acting/showbiz blogger does it again. The Actor's Voice this week talks about The Gift.

The Gift being the ability to walk into a room and realize that what you have to offer is a gift to whatever audience may be assembled. What a great way to think about it.

It also reminded me that what I have is already a gift...the whole reason I am where I am is that for whatever reason I love doing this one thing and I happen to also be better than average at it. That's my gift.

The gift is also being able to do what I love. That's the ultimate gift and what makes it worth pursuing.

Thanks for the reminder, and for the gift of a new way of thinking about my gift. I'll remember the gift I have, the gift I give, and the gift I pursue.

Lauren signing off, heartfelt and fruity.

Actor Jealous

So this is funny.

Today I had a callback (yay!) for another student project with the same director as last time. So that's cool. But that's not what is funny.

What is funny is that there was a guy at this audition and at the callback that had been at the previous audition and callback. We read together and chatted the first time and he was great to play off of, so I was excited to see him yesterday at the audition and then today at the callback.

He and I were paired up when he got there, and then after we read for the director we were each paired with other folks to read again. I was rehearsing with a guy who...well, to euphemize, he probably isn't the best choice for the role. And he was ad-libbing, which I hate. But anyway. While I was rehearsing with this guy, the actor I liked was reading with another girl outside of the audition room. And I discovered, to my horror and then amusement, that I had actor jealousy! He was doing his best with her, just as he had with me, but I realized that my silly actor self wanted him to only do his best with me, not this other chick. I felt cheated on or something. And then I laughed at myself for being ridiculous. Of course I wanted him to do his best all the time. And then I turned back to the guy who still hadn't made it all the way through the monologue he was ad-libbing and continued rehearsing with him.

Unfortunately, my last time in the room was with Mr. Euphemism. I was "released" after that. It's so hard to read when that happens, your actor mind taffy (Thanks Bonnie Gillespie!) starts spinning and you can't figure out if he just saw what he needed or if he hated you or you're good and he was just letting you go or or or...silly. Silly actors.

But yeah. It was fun. I think he should cast me and that guy and that other guy.

Audition: USC Grad film 10/29 callback 10/30

Kicking myself

Yesterday I didn't go to an audition, and now I'm mad at myself.

I really didn't want to go. It was for a student pilot series and the writing wasn't bad and I would have gotten a fair amount of footage and I was pretty right for the part. But I really didn't want to go.

I justified it to myself by thinking that if I didn't want to be there, I wouldn't do my best work. I almost turned around twice, but talked myself into going, and then the last time I turned and drove home.

I knew at the time that I really should go and it's my job and this is what I want to be doing and I'm only hurting myself and it's stupid not to go and blah blah blah...

I let the fact that I lost my weekend to my sustenance job impact the few hours of free time I had, and by doing so, I didn't do what was best for my real job. I should feel bad. I got in my own way and let myself do it.

Blah. I feel whiny. And blah. Happy Monday.

Tear Pricks on the Bus

I was reading an article on immigration reform in The Sun magazine, which I absolutely love to read when I have time. It's always timely, thought provoking, interesting, and very human to the point of sometimes being very sad. But it's great. I highly recommend it.

Anyway - the immigration article was actually an interview with Pramila Jayapal, an author and immigration activist. Towards the end of the interview she talked about a note she received from one of the people she had helped - he wrote "If we had never met, I would have dreamed you into being." Tear prick one. What an awesome thing to say.

And then she finished the interview saying this - "I think we have to dream what we want to see happen. And then we have to work for it."

New mantra. Tears prickle happily.

John McCain Parody

Here is our John McCain parody song from "P.S. You're A Mess."

It was taped during a show, so the quality isn't that great, but it's still fun.



You can also see it at home on YouTube.