Actor Jealous

So this is funny.

Today I had a callback (yay!) for another student project with the same director as last time. So that's cool. But that's not what is funny.

What is funny is that there was a guy at this audition and at the callback that had been at the previous audition and callback. We read together and chatted the first time and he was great to play off of, so I was excited to see him yesterday at the audition and then today at the callback.

He and I were paired up when he got there, and then after we read for the director we were each paired with other folks to read again. I was rehearsing with a guy who...well, to euphemize, he probably isn't the best choice for the role. And he was ad-libbing, which I hate. But anyway. While I was rehearsing with this guy, the actor I liked was reading with another girl outside of the audition room. And I discovered, to my horror and then amusement, that I had actor jealousy! He was doing his best with her, just as he had with me, but I realized that my silly actor self wanted him to only do his best with me, not this other chick. I felt cheated on or something. And then I laughed at myself for being ridiculous. Of course I wanted him to do his best all the time. And then I turned back to the guy who still hadn't made it all the way through the monologue he was ad-libbing and continued rehearsing with him.

Unfortunately, my last time in the room was with Mr. Euphemism. I was "released" after that. It's so hard to read when that happens, your actor mind taffy (Thanks Bonnie Gillespie!) starts spinning and you can't figure out if he just saw what he needed or if he hated you or you're good and he was just letting you go or or or...silly. Silly actors.

But yeah. It was fun. I think he should cast me and that guy and that other guy.

Audition: USC Grad film 10/29 callback 10/30

Theatre in LA makes me say GAH!!!!

I should clarify.

"Directors" in Los Angeles who think they can just put up a show without having any expertise in or knowledge of directing make me SCREAM.

Saw yet another show that was in desperate need of a director. The "director," to his credit, had some idea of how to cast the show, as I thought 60% of the cast was actually pretty good. But that was where it ended. My friend in the cast said that he never gave them any blocking or direction, they just ran through it. She became the ersatz production coordinator because she made a schedule for rehearsals because she felt bad for the people sitting around every night. Oh, also, this "director" was in the show as well.

I learned some things last night. (Ha! I'm talking about learning again!) This may seem like a conceited statement, and I don't mean it that way - it's more of a confidence thing - but here it is: I no longer doubt that I'm good enough to be an Equity actor. I have oodles of stuff to learn about acting and life and everything else, but I realized that darn it, I am actually good enough. Now I just have to polish myself enough to convince other people of that.

I also realized why I get so upset by unprofessional productions. I love theatre so much that it's physically difficult for me to watch when I feel like it's being bastardized. I am incredibly judgmental and opinionated and stubborn and none of those are necessarily good qualities, but I yam what I yam, and to compound it all, I have pretty high theatrical standards. That isn't to say that I can't pick out the good in a production, but it gave me a little insight into why I walk away feeling bad and then feel incredibly bitchy later when discussing the show with other people who saw it. Bitchy is sort of harsh - let's say nit-picky.

I'm also not a director. It's not my passion nor my area of expertise, and I get frustrated when I see a show that I know I could have directed better. My Directing I class in college wasn't fantastic, but I did learn something.

So there's my rant for today. I know there is good theatre in Los Angeles. I keep reading about good shows and I keep hearing people say how much the theatre here has improved in the last few years. At this point, not only is it a matter of knowing where to go, but having the funds to do so...but hey, it's a tax write off. For me, anyway.

And I'm friends with a lot of good actors. But even good actors need direction. Myself included.

Also, I'm going to steal an idea I saw on another blog - I'm going to post every audition I go on. Should be interesting. Here is today's:

Non-Union Feature - Stephanie in "Skyler"